Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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