Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
