And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
