so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
