Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
