He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
