God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
