His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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