just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
