I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dick very happy bro
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
