I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
