i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
