Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
