Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
