i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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