I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
