Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
