Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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