I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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