i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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