i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
