I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
