She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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