1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Say something about gay babies.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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