he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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