Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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