She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
