Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
