yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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