That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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