I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So vagazzling was a success
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize