I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
