Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize