what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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