I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
