it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize