I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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