If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
