so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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