Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you never un-have a 4some
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
