Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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