gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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