Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
