Christians are straight up FREAKS
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
