If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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