Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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