Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
