i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
