i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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