SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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