a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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