i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
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I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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