"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
