Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize