yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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