DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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