Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
