Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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